How to Get Over Being Ghosted and Move On
Being ghosted has got to be one of the worst things to experience. We’re not only talking about being ghosted by someone you are involved with romantically but also someone you consider as a dear friend. Sometimes, the latter hurts even more. The pain that ghosting brings depends on the significance of the severed relationship. Obviously, the more you’ve put in the relationship (i.e., time, effort, and energy) will contribute to the impact that the ghosting will have on you mentally, emotionally, physically, and in your social life.
How to get over being ghosted and eventually move on?
Feel the Pain
Perhaps the worse piece of advice that you’ll ever get from someone is to forget the pain and move on. As if you can just shut down all of your feelings at a snap of a finger. A relationship that has just ended needs to be mourned. Cry for it and feel the pain, especially if it’s a significant loss. Unrequited love or a breakup is hurtful enough, but imagine if someone you deem special suddenly disappears without a trace.
The loss is hurtful, and anger is the first of many emotions that will go through your mind. Allow yourself to be angry! Remember, though, that it’s important to do the right thing. Whatever you do at this point may have repercussions later on. Be mindful of your actions, and don’t make big decisions when you’re mad.
Be mature in your decisions and try to find out why you got ghosted to get some closure. Sometimes, this clarity is all you need. You will still get hurt and mourn the relationship, but at least you’ll know what happened. The most important thing to do is avoid ruining any existing relationships with others who are still by your side as you look for answers. It’s also valuable to have friends you can trust to have someone with a clear head to keep you company and hopefully give you prudent advice.
When Closure Is Not in Sight
When the person who ghosted you, well, stays a ghost, the blame and shame game starts. Remember, you have nothing to be ashamed of, nor is it your fault why someone ghosted you. When someone ghosts you, it’s a reflection of their personality and character, not yours. You’re not the one who left someone who’s treated someone like a part of themselves without resolving things.
Shame on them for not having the courage to end things or owning up to their weakness. Keep in mind that closure may not come today, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t come ever. You might find closure somewhere else. Trust the process, and it will all work out ok in the end.
Take the Time To Heal
As with any loss, you need to give yourself time to heal. There will come a time when the pain will be more tolerable but don’t rush things. Give yourself enough time and space to start feeling ok again. Don’t wallow, though. There will come a time when you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move on with your life.
Do the Math
You may not be over the person who ghosted you, but if you’re in a headspace where you can think more rationally, it’s time to do the math! Ask yourself: are they really worth it? Is the friendship worth getting hung up on?
Sometimes, if you can’t decide, it’s best to spend some time listing the pros and cons of that relationship. Making pros and cons list is a very logical yet effective way to get over someone. You might be at this phase for quite some time, but the more you become objective on the matter, the closer you will be to healing.
Know Your Worth
Realizing self-love is perhaps the last part of the healing process when someone has either broken up with you or ghosted you. This is where you revisit yourself and check on your worth. You are more than the worth of the relationship that has gone awry. You are the captain of your ship. Know that someone else or something else deserves your time, and you’re still going to do good in this world.
Open Yourself Up to Other Possibilities
The end of an important relationship may feel like the end of the world. Eventually, you will need to accept that it’s not, and you’ll feel a lot better once you do. There are tons of other people in the world to invite into your life. You may even find better relationships than the ones you have lost once you put yourself back out there.
Mourn if you need to, cry if you need to, go a bit crazy if you need to, but always remember that it’s not the end of the line if someone leaves without a trace. Know your worth. Your relationship with whoever ghosted you does not define who you are and what you’re capable of.
It’s going to be painful if the relationship or friendship that suddenly went AWOL is a significant part of your life, and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise. But healing or, even better, growth takes time, and it is going to hurt.
Know that this does nothing but open things up to other possibilities. Sometimes, these possibilities are even better than what you had before. Go for it!