How to Feel Whole Again: 11 Steps to Recover From a Hard Time and Move Forward
Breakups can be horrible when you feel like you’re all alone. There are many complicated emotions; sadness, depression, emptiness, and anger come to mind. However, do know that it’s perfectly normal to feel down in the dumps after a devastating breakup. The combination of your endorphins disappearing, less physical activity, and potential loneliness around relationships can lead to feelings of loss, depression, and anxiety.
Fortunately, it’s possible to recover from a breakup and regain your confidence and happiness in your daily life. Whether it just occurred, or you’ve been dealing with the effects of heartbreak for months, it’s time to consider a few steps to recuperate and feel whole again.
1. Acceptance Is the Key To Moving Forward
Accepting that you must move on is the first step in starting to heal a broken heart. It doesn’t mean you have to forget what happened or stop feeling whatever emotions you’re experiencing. It simply means that you have accepted what has happened and decided to move on from it. When you have acceptance of it, you can begin to take control of your life again. You won’t be stuck in a loop of going over the past and thinking about what you could have done differently.
Furthermore, accepting that things have changed is necessary because it allows you to see that there are new opportunities available for you. You can still be sad, angry, or upset about what has happened, but recognizing that it happened is the first step in moving on. Thus, the next time you find yourself stuck in an emotional rut, remember: acceptance is key!
2. Know That It Isn’t Your Fault
It’s normal to feel like you are at fault when a relationship ends. You might think that you did something wrong and caused the breakup, or maybe you feel like you could have done more to prevent it. The truth is that breakups are never anyone’s fault — they just happen sometimes.
Breakups do happen for many reasons, and often there is no clear explanation as to why they occur. Sometimes people grow apart over time and just realize that they don’t want to be together anymore; other times, one person may be unhappy in the relationship and want out. Regardless of what happens or what caused your breakup, know that it wasn’t your fault. This will help you move out of guilt and help you feel whole again.
3. Give Yourself Enough Time To Heal
It can be hard to get back on your feet when experiencing a hard time. You might feel like your world has been turned upside down and that you’ll never be the same again. However, understand that you will get over this. You simply need to give yourself permission not to feel 100% at the moment. This doesn’t mean that you should wallow in self-pity or become “selfish”. Instead, maintain your focus on the main objective by remaining aware that you will have success again in the future.
It might be hard at first, but once you get over the initial shock, things will start looking up. And when they do, you’ll be better equipped than ever before. It’s because all of your experiences have made you stronger, more resilient, and more confident in yourself. It’s not a straightforward journey or happens overnight either; it’s a lengthy process that varies per individual. Therefore, embrace the slow pace of becoming whole again, and you’ll soon get there.
4. Don’t Hold Your Complicated Emotions To Yourself
According to a study, talking to your trusted friends about your feelings can help you look on the brighter side of it than dealing with the problem alone. Thus, taking the time to express yourself to friends and loved ones can help you process your emotions and move forward with your life. It will also help them understand and empathize with your situation, which could lead to a more supportive environment for you. You can hug it and cry because they’re there to comfort you. They might not understand how you feel at first, but they’ll be happy that you shared your feelings with them, and they’ll do their best to help you.
5. Learn to Forgive Your Ex
When the pain of a breakup begins to subside, you can start to build a new life for yourself by cutting any ties with the person who caused the pain. However, this can only happen by beginning to practice forgiveness. This means letting go of the blame and resentment you might have towards them — in recognition of their human flaws. Through forgiveness, you are acknowledging their humanity and offering compassion for their shortcomings. Most importantly, forgive yourself too!
6. Make Yourself Busy
During this time, you may feel like the best thing to do is to stay in bed and cry, but that actually makes things worse — and also not helpful for your mental health. In fact, when you’re feeling down, it’s better to make yourself busy with life-enhancing activities that will help you feel better. For instance, you can do yoga or go to the gym, see movies, get a new haircut, or start living a healthier lifestyle. Besides, never involve turning to alcohol or drugs — because it will just worsen the problem.
7. Be Thankful and Appreciate Your Surroundings
Gratitude and appreciation are powerful tools. It can help you get through the toughest times and reminds you that you’re not alone in your struggles. Instead of focusing on your complicated feelings, you can go out and appreciate your environment or the little things that are happening in your life. You can even thank the person who hurt you because it made you stronger. You might even try writing down five things each day that make you grateful, helping you shift your outlook on life.
8. Don’t Immediately Jump Into a New Relationship
As much as you might want to, you can’t always rush into a new relationship. Instead, it’s better to take some time to reflect on what went wrong and how we can make it work better next time. Remember that now is the time for some self-investment and learning more about yourself. If you’re not ready for a new relationship, jumping into one will only make things worse for you in the long run. It’s because you’re maybe simply using that person as a cover-up to forget what happened.
9. Nurture a Positive Mind
Another way to heal a broken heart is to keep positive thoughts. If that means you need to create a list of mantras about healing, then do it. This will motivate or inspire you to focus on what’s important: moving forward and feeling whole again. Never allow negative thoughts to take over your mind and affect the way you feel about yourself — as well as other people around you. Also, try to take time for yourself and get away from life’s daily issues for a while. With a positive frame of mind, you can feel love again and rediscover hope for your future.
10. Give More Time for Self-Love
Self-care is about taking care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically; it’s showing how much you love and deserve to be happy. Even if it’s for 15 minutes daily— take a moment to do something nice for yourself. It might seem like a small thing, but it will help keep your mind clear and your spirit strong as you go through this challenging time. As a result, your heartbreak doesn’t seem like such an overwhelming burden anymore. You’ll be able to handle them in a way that will allow you to keep moving forward.
If you do find yourself comparing and feeling bad because others seem happier, it may help to refrain from using social media. For example, when you see happy couples online, you may feel unhappy about your life. Hence, it’s best to get off the limelight and spend more time for yourself.
11. Consider Your Experience a Life Lesson
Erasing the patterns of your past relationships is tedious and time-consuming, but learning to make better choices will ultimately lead you to a healthier, more rewarding relationship in the future. During the healing process, you need to analyze what went wrong in the relationship and who was at fault. If you can pinpoint the problem, only then would you be able to understand yourself better and be able to find a potential next relationship with someone who better fits your values. Once you accept and learn from it, you’ll never make the same mistake twice!
The main takeaway is that you should make a conscious effort to learn and grow from the struggles in your life. If you find yourself in a bad place, you should focus on finding ways to turn it around so you can live your life again. Use the techniques that work for you and stop providing energy to problems that will only hold you back and keep you stuck in your current situation. Hopefully, our guides above help you become whole again, no matter the pain you’re going through.